Back from the dead 2

So many people have been wondering why is my blog so vacant. Its hard to describe unless you have been in my shoes. I have had my heart and soul destroyed,  a terrible ordeal, something that nobody should ever be put through.

I was told during February that my girlfriend who I loved dearly had cancer and would probably die shortly. I went through so much pain and mental torture. I lost months upon months of sleep because of stress and worry. I had panic attacks and anxiety issues on a regular basis. I was waiting for her funeral at the time. I was dedicated to never give up on her because she deserved that much… or so I thought at the time.

On July 13th I found out myself via a Facebook page not alone was she alive and well but also betrayed me behind my back. I believed everything I was told because cancer is a serious condition, not the kind of thing someone would joke about or tell lies about.  I will never understand why she put me through this, after all the time I knew her and trusted her to the full. I didn’t deserve this, ever and neither does anyone in the world.

I don’t mind too much the fact we broke up but I have a big issue with the way it was done. It was a cruel, horrible way to treat a human being. I won’t forgive what she did to me, not now, not ever. If she could give me back those 5 months of my time and not have put me through this then fair enough.

Moving on from this im slowly getting back to being myself. The happy version of myself, not the guy who was injected with darkness, bitterness and anger. I know I will get there, it will just take time for my wounds to heal.