Back from the dead 2

So many people have been wondering why is my blog so vacant. Its hard to describe unless you have been in my shoes. I have had my heart and soul destroyed,  a terrible ordeal, something that nobody should ever be put through.

I was told during February that my girlfriend who I loved dearly had cancer and would probably die shortly. I went through so much pain and mental torture. I lost months upon months of sleep because of stress and worry. I had panic attacks and anxiety issues on a regular basis. I was waiting for her funeral at the time. I was dedicated to never give up on her because she deserved that much… or so I thought at the time.

On July 13th I found out myself via a Facebook page not alone was she alive and well but also betrayed me behind my back. I believed everything I was told because cancer is a serious condition, not the kind of thing someone would joke about or tell lies about.  I will never understand why she put me through this, after all the time I knew her and trusted her to the full. I didn’t deserve this, ever and neither does anyone in the world.

I don’t mind too much the fact we broke up but I have a big issue with the way it was done. It was a cruel, horrible way to treat a human being. I won’t forgive what she did to me, not now, not ever. If she could give me back those 5 months of my time and not have put me through this then fair enough.

Moving on from this im slowly getting back to being myself. The happy version of myself, not the guy who was injected with darkness, bitterness and anger. I know I will get there, it will just take time for my wounds to heal.

  • Dirk

    Good god, man! What a terrible time you must have gone through! Just take the time and opportunity to talk about and share everything that this has done with you deep inside, so this soul – wound may heal as good as well as possible. Even when it will leave scars that will be with you during the remainder of your life. Use it to become stronger and more the person you can be and don’t let it permanently damage the capacity to be an open fellow human being to whoever comes across your path. You sharing this here may be a first (or probably step along this road of healing. Wish you a lot of people around you that give you the attention and time and space that you need!

    • Yeah it was a really disgusting thing to do to someone and I really didn’t deserve such treatment. The only positive thing to take from it is a life lesson on how even the people you trust the most may not be loyal to you in the long run and might even be really nasty to you. I won’t let this get me down, I will fight for what is right in the world. Truth, honesty and justice. I will take on the world with new energy once im ready to do so. I have lots of good people around me at least, I mean really good people that I know I can trust to the full.